Grumpies history

1997-Frank Czarnik stands at second base during the formation and draft for our new softball league, thereby becoming team #2.

1998-Louie Cumbo recruits me for the Grumpies. We play a game televised by Channel 6, DVD or VHS available upon request, and stink up the joint, losing to a team having a losing record. After that we win the championship when Bobby Ruth gets the game winning hit, so we named a candy bar after him.

1999-I tore my ACL playing over 50 basketball so I did not participate, but Rob Bergmann joins the team and leads them to the finals.

2002- Our mediocre record did not qualify for the playoffs outright, we had to win a play-in game just to get into the playoffs, which we did, and then marched thru the playoffs like Sherman went thru Georgia, and then upset a powerful Code Blue team in a televised Channel 6 finals, DVD or VHS available upon request.

2004- We had the best team, but in the playoffs in the last inning we had a good rally going and I came up with 1 out and the bases loaded, one run down, I had been batting very well so it was hangin time, they knew it, and I knew it, and I aimed a liner to the right of the second baseman, but the short center anticipated it and moved over to that gap and made a reaching catch for a double play, and just like that, rally over, game over, season over, have a nice winter, see you next spring.

2005- We lost only one game all year 5-3 to the undefeated Chicago Classics team, but we got our revenge against them in the playoff championship game, the last out being a shot down the first base line bouncing high off Fred Klaus' foot, so I ran over to cover first base, but as I got there the ball came down right to me as I caught it and stepped on first base for the final out, I can still hear the crowd screaming.

2006- In the semifinals, we are down big to a team of ringers, and they are about to add to their lead with the bases loaded and their best ringer at bat, who was 3 for 3, nothing shorter than a triple. It was hangin time, we knew it, they knew it, because I could not walk the guy or give my usual pitch to him, so I pitched it lefty, which caught him by surprise and I heard him gulp as he hit hit a hard one hopper to our second baseman Denny who made the play, inning over, and the surprised ringer could only utter sh*t 20 consecutive times as he headed to the dugout. We were still several runs down at the time, but the bottom of our order came thru in the last inning when all hope was almost gone with hit after hit to pull out an improbable win. After the final run scored I went to shake hands with the other team, who were so stunned that they had not yet moved from their defensive positions. Instead of saying the usual nice game, they only stared blankly into space emphatically uttering sh*t over and over. In the finals we were down to the Dawgs 3-0 late in the game, but Rob rescued us with two extra base hits to win the championship.

2007-In mid season, our manager since day 1, Frank Czarnik passed away. Things have never been the same since. We are all wearing commemorative patches on our sleeves in his memory. Despite a good start to the season, the latter part was missing Frank's passion so we finished poorly.

2008-every team has picked up newer younger stronger players, so we did not have much chance, but here is how it played out in the double elimination format...
After we beat FOG and lost to the Unknowns, a fight ensued between FOG and the 16 Inchers. The following day I received emails from FOG saying they were going to take legal action for assault and battery, and as commissioner if I did not find out who the other guy was, they were going to send the police after me too. So I had to decide if I would rather be behind bars or have to play against FOG again, so I flipped a coin, it came up heads meaning I gotta play FOG again. I was tempted to try 2 out of 3 flips, but I bit the bullet and called the FOG manager to get their side of the story. In the meantime they managed to get the identity of the attacker from other channels, so I was off the hook.
In the process of getting phone numbers, I looked at the FOG roster and some of the names sounded a little familiar, so I looked at the site for the 16 inch Softball Hall Of Fame and sure enough I found at least 4 of the FOG names are listed as Inductees. No wonder they have been kicking the crap out of everyone. That gave me cause to ponder, here we are, the depleted over the hill Grumpies, missing 6 players, avoiding forfeit only by unexpected duty from Wayne and Fred, having to face a nearly invincible team of much younger bigger and stronger Hall Of Famers, making me feel like Custer at the Little Big Horn, or the charge of the light brigade, or The Alamo, or Dunkirk, or Thermopylae, or opening day for the Dead Cougars (see separate post).
While I am pondering our fate, the rest of the Grumpies embraced the situation like Don Quixote, to dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, to go where the brave dare not go, to give when there's no more to give, to fight with our last ounce of courage, etc etc, and when the dust settled we had somehow scratched out 2 more runs than they did. It did help that the wind was blowing in and FOG kept trying to hit the ball long, despite our outfielders being so deep they were like specks on the horizon. As a result of the Aug 25 double elimination carnage, we are one of only 3 teams left standing, to march into hell for a heavenly cause, to reach the unreachable star etc etc., the other two teams being FOG who subsequently kicked the crap out of the Classics and the 16 Inchers, and the Unknowns who are in the catbird seat as the only team remaining in the winners bracket, so someone will have to beat them twice to dream the impossible dream, to reach the unreachable star, etc etc.
Now we had to play FOG again, and this time I suspected we would have to face eleven hall of famers, seven of which we have never seen before. Nevertheless, this was our quest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far, etc etc. Whatever happens, I am very proud of our team's attitude of damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. You guys are awesome.
As it turned out the FOG hall of famers really were the unbeatable foe, so it did not matter that we gave when there was no more to give, it was too hopeless, it was too far, etc etc, the star really was unreachable, the dream really was impossible, even the Unknowns found that out, but in light of the heightened level of competition I think our team overachieved. Not bad for us throwbacks.