Tennis Anyone?

It so happened that our company's Sales Department held a doubles tennis tournament, and the winners posted notices on the public bulletin boards that they, Robert and David, the Dynamic Duo, had proclaimed themselves that they and they alone were the tennis champions of the company, and should anyone disagree, let them step forward and take their lumps on court.

For several days, no one dared take up the challenge until the news reached my boss, who happened to be a long time tennis buff, and he was so aghast at the brashness and audacity of the Dynamic Duo, that he came to me, since I was the company sportswriter, and said "I hereby deputize you to arrange a match against them to be held TONIGHT after work". I said OK, I can arrange that but this is doubles, so who will your partner be? He said he did not have time to look for a partner so it would have to be ME. But I do not play tennis. No matter, just show up at the park district courts tonight after work. But, but, but....oh well, OK.

Now although I am OK at ping pong, I suck at tennis because of rim shots. Ping pong paddles are much more forgiving on off-center hits than a tennis racket. I also did not want to make a spectacle of myself because not only did I not want to wear those fruity white shorts, but word of this match was spreading like wildfire and I feared there would be spectators. As it turned out, there were hundreds of spectators, but each of them was watching from their cars, waiting for the stoplight to turn green.

It turned out that I did not have to do much, so I just stood there while the boss was flying all over the court. Since I was standing close to the net, the few times I had to hit the ball were rim shots that just barely made it over the net, making it look like they were deft touch shots. When the smoke had cleared, the Dynamic Duo had been stripped of their championship, 6-4, 7-6.

The Dynamic Duo caught a lot of flack at work about this, and their defensive statement was that their loss was the upset of the century, made possible only by a combination of their own overconfidence and the fact that their opponents played over their heads, and it was only 2 sets. So a second match with 3 sets was arranged to let the Dynamic Duo prove to their fans (all two of them) that the first match was only a fluke, and this time they would surely dash their opponents into oblivion.

Well it turned out that the first match was not a fluke after all, the Dynamic Duo lost again, 6-4, 6-2, 6-3, and they were forced to admit that it was not quite the upset of the century, maybe just the decade, and one of these days they will win, especially since by now the law of averages was on their side.

Meanwhile, the boss and I had the company championship, and should anyone disagree, let them step forward and take their lumps on court. No takers, and I have not played since.